State boards and new job!!!!

Well it was a long road, but I was so glad to see school end. Then as the date I had signed up to take my NCLEX exam got closer, I got more and more nervous! I considered changing the date to give myself more time to study, but figured a couple more weeks probably wouldn't help me anyway. If I didn't know it by know I wasn't going to I thought.

I am glad I didn't change it. I got to the point where I really just wanted it behind me. I didn't want to study anymore, and I just wanted to take it and pass so I could apple for nursing jobs.

I studied all day the two days before the test, and then got a good nights sleep. I scheduled my test for the afternoon, since I am not a morning person and the test center was an hour away. I slept in and left 2.5 hours before my appointment. I got stuck in a traffic jam on the way from an accident, had to get off the interstate and go another way. It took forever and I was glad I'd given myself so much extra time. I got there a half hour before my appointment. The closer I got to the test center the more nervous and shaky I got! By the time I went upstairs, still 30 min early, I could barely focus through my fear of failing and having to explain to the few friends and family who knew I was testing that while I had graduated with a 4.0 I was too dumb to pass the NCLEX.

I checked in and was taken into the testing room. You are not allowed to take ANYTHING in there, not a chapstick, not an inhaler, not even your watch! I sat there and went through the little tutorial and started my test, almost terrified to click that start button. But I did. I started doing the questions, trying to use the knowledge and skills I had to get the answer, as I really didn't KNOw any of them for sure.

I had about 25 select all that apply questions, which was way more than they had prepared us for in school, and I suck at those anyway. I got a ton of med questions, but mostly meeds I had never heard of and didn't even know what they were for. Weird mess, not the more common ones. I got questions about illnesses we'd never covered in school. I didn't feel confident in a single answer I chose. Wy couldn't I have gotten a bunch of math questions I wondered? I Am good at math!

I about burst into tears when I got my 20th SATA question, but I managed to stave it off. I did however mentally give up. I stopped trying to think through the questions and just started reading them once, picking the first answer I thought was right and moving on. I thought I was going to fail anyway.

When I got to 75 questions I was afraid to click next. I was afraid it would shut off and then I would never have a chance to get questions I knew the answers to! I couldn't stare at that question forever though, and when I clicked next it went to a plain blue screen, much like the blue screen of death when your computer fries. I sort of felt like it was that blue screen of death, because I thought there was no way I passed that. I went to the car and called my mom in tears. She assured me she thought I had done fine. If only I had had had same faith!

I went home and tried the "person vie trick". It gave me the good popup, which I can tell you was my only hope and consolation for the longest 48 hours that followed until I was able to pay $8 to get my quick results on Saturday afternoon. By Monday my license number showed up on the board of nursing!

That was definitely the hardest, most stressful test I have ever taken, and I am glad I should never have to do it again! On the following Tuesday morning my director called me at work and told me there was an internship spot in OB and I needed to find out from the recruiter what I had to do to apply for it. I called her and they allowed me to apply to the internship late since I am already an employee. I tested the day after the application deadline, so I thought I was going to have to wait a whole other month to apply. I am glad I didn't.

It all went so quickly and smoothly. I applied on Tuesday, interviewed with the recruiter on Wednesday, the unit director of OB on Friday and got my job offer on Monday! I was never really expecting to get into OB as a new grad, but I am SOOOO happy I did! I want to do labor and delivery, and while this is in antepartum/postpartum, it is totally a step in the right direction! So much c,Oder than I thought I would get as a new grad!

I get to start February 15th and I am so very excited! I cannot wait for that date to come! I am a real nurse now, and will get to be working as one very soon!

It's OVER! (long!)

Nursing school has been a long, hard, trying, emotional, and amazing journey.  It is hard to believe that after 2 and 1/2 long years it is all over.  While at the time those 2 and 1/2 years seemed long anyway, when I look back they have flown by.

When I started nursing school, my daughter had just turned a year old.  Now she is almost 3 and 1/2.

I have new friends that I never would've met had I not been in nursing school.  Friends that will always be my friends no matter what, because we went through this all together.  We all took turns falling apart, and holding each other up and we all got through it together.

My way of thinking has changed so much.  I remember starting working as a CNA at that horrible nursing home, thinking I will never be able to do this, maybe I don't want to be a nurse after all if this is what it's going to be like.  I remember my first nursing school melt down in the lab my first semester, thinking all of what I was learning was just like the nursing home and I didn't want to do it.

I remember the year I spent not working, devoting entire "work days" to studying for all my classes and taking pages and pages of notes.  I treated school like a full-time job, since I couldn't find anything else.  As soon as I found a job those 8-hour long study sessions ended quickly, and I switched to working all night and then spending all day in class, often being up for 36 hours or more at a stretch and wondering how I ever made it home awake and alive.

I remember one of my best friends I made in nursing school being pregnant and having her baby at the end of this past summer.  And for all the times I wondered how I managed to do it, I wondered even more how SHE managed to do it and still keep good grades!  She worked full time, where I was part time, and she was having her second baby, as her first is the same age as Arianna.

I remember the family troubles - my sister being sick and spending a spring break helping her around the house when she came home from the hospital, just grateful she had made it through it all alive.

I remember nervous breakdowns over my first care plans, where now I can bang out care plans and care maps in an hour.

I remember stressing over how HARD those first tests were in Intro and Fundamentals.... If we had only known then what classes like Adult 2 would bring us!

I wasn't upset on the last day of classes, I just wanted to get the hell outta there.  I was a little sad on the last day of clinicals, as it was starting to sink in that the end was near.  Now, as I sit here writing the morning after my very last day of preceptorship, I am very sad, and happy and excited all at the same time.

I am Happy and Excited that it is over, and soon I will finally be an RN.  I am sad in a way that it is over, and that while I will always have my friends that I have made, we aren't necessarily going to see each other several times a week anymore.  I am sad because I really enjoyed my preceptorship, the floor I did it on, and the preceptor I had.  I LIKED being there with everyone and looked forward to my shifts working there, even if I was free labor.  I am going to miss all the people on that unit.  I would really love to go to work on that unit.

I am also sad that now I get to go back to work tonight and be "just a tech" again.  Chances are good we will not be able to take the NCLEX until after the first of the year, and who knows how long it will be until I can get into the Internship and start working as an RN.  I don't want to lose any of the skills I have worked hard to gain because I am not using them.

Again, I would like to thank my family, for without them I would not be where I am today.  My mom for inspiring me to be a nurse (she's my Hero).  My dad for helping pay for my education.  My hubby for putting up with my rants, raves, nervous breakdowns, constant studying and worrying over whatever test or project was due next, and taking care of watching our daughter when I couldn't (and my mom for all that too!).  Hubby also for listening to stories about "yucky nurse things" he had no interest in at all, and is easily grossed out by.  My daughter for understanding (somewhat, in her 3-year old way), that mommy had to study, or sleep because she worked all night and was up all day.  Someday I hope I am a role model to her.

I would like to thank my friends that I made in the nursing program, for always being there to support me, be a shoulder to cry on, study with me, commiserate with me, share stories with me, vent with me, and have "fun" times that did not relate to school or work. I have two new best friends that I never would've met had it not been for nursing school!

I need to thank my friends that I had before nursing school, for putting up with the fact that I have basically been MIA for the past 2.5 years.  Sorry that I haven't been around much, and I hope to be able to spend time with you all more soon!

I want to thank the great teachers and clinical instructors I have had throughout the program.  Most of my instructors were great, and I had all wonderful clinical instructors.

I want to thank my preceptor, for getting me through the last 3 weeks.  I had a great time and I hope she enjoyed it as much as I did.  I could not have asked for a better end to my Nursing School Journey. 

I want to thank the nurses on the unit I work on for being there for me, helping me learn new things, supporting me in school emotionally and mentally, and genuinely caring about me.  I have learned so much working with all of you that I never learned in school, and I think it really has/will help me excel.  There is no substitute for real-world experience.

Next week is pinning and graduation.  I will have a degree that I can have a career with, finally.  While I plan to go back to school and work up to a Masters or DNP degree, I don't HAVE to.  If i want to stay an associate degree nurse and work on the floor, I can do that.  While I also have an AA degree, I never felt this huge sense of accomplishment like I do now.  I even managed to complete nursing school with a 4.0 GPA in the nursing program.  That is huge.

Next week at the big graduation party, I am so burning this stay-puffed marshmallow man uniform, as I have been talking about that and looking forward to it for 2.5 years!  WOOHOOO!

Last Day of Preceptorship!?

Tonight is my last night of preceptorship.  I am excited and sad at the same time.  

I have had a wonderful experience on this unit doing my preceptorship.  I have found that I really enjoy working on the floor, as well as working with the nurses I have been with on my last 7 shifts there.  My preceptor has been great to me, and all the other nurses I've been working there with have been really nice.  I am sad to be leaving.  I really wish that I could work up there.  Unfortunately, Sonal and Christian will likely be working there after passing the NCLEX, and I don't think she will have any extra spots.  At least, Michelle was told it wasn't going to happen for her by her preceptor for that reason.  We shall see I guess.  

At any rate, I am sad to be leaving this unit.  Open heart has been very interesting and something I found I liked, where I thought before my clinical rotation started there that I would hate it.  I was never much into cardiac stuff, but I have found I really enjoy it.  I am glad I had the opportunity to do my precpetorship there instead of on just med-surg or orthopedics or something too much like where I work already.  

I am sad that after tonight, I will be going back to just working on 4N as a tech and not getting to do any nurse-things.  I don't want to be just a tech anymore.  I don't want to forget all the charting stuff I have learned because I don't get to use it, or forget how to do chart checks or check over the MAR's.  I want to keep learning.  I want to keep learning to take on more and more patients, to learn to start IV's, to keep learning how to put it all together.  I really hope I get to sit for the NCLEX early, and pass the first time, and get into the first internship there is after that on some unit that I will enjoy.  

I have already submitted all my stuff for the NCLEX.  I did it last week.  I'm hoping I did it early enough that once they submit our names after the NCLEX review I will be able to take it soon.  I still imagine I won't be able to take it though until after the first of the year, and that really sucks.  :(

Survived first night of preceptorship.....

AND LOVED IT!

It was so amazing to feel like a REAL nurse.  I have to admit though, I had a hard time switching hats.  I had a hard time not running to my call lights every time they went off and letting the CNA's do their thing.  I am just so used to doing that job.  

However, I had a wonderful first night.  My preceptor is amazing.  Very patient with me, showing me everything we had time for, and letting me do as much as I could/was comfortable doing.  

Instead of taking 2 of her patients myself this first night, I just sort of took her whole assignment with her (4 patients).  I did assessments on all of them, and she did too to help me make sure I was getting it right.  I passed meds on everyone, did a dressing change, put in a new foley, straight cathed someone, even got to help do a new admission.... Had a good, busy night!  

I definitely still have a lot to learn, and in no way could I be left alone to my own devices, but I did learn a lot!  I hope I retain it all!  :-)  I'm sure it will take a few times of doing all the charting and stuff for me to really get the hang of it!  It's going to be weird going to my real work tonight and being "just a tech" again.  :-(  At least I have cool nurses at work who show me a lot and let me help them with a lot of stuff, because they all know I am graduating.  

I can't wait for graduation and passing the NCLEX!  I know I am going to rock it, just like I did my classes and clinicals!  I'm sure I wasn't the only one in my class of 70 to graduate with a 4.0, but I DID do it, and I am damn proud of it!  I worked very hard to get A's in all my nursing classes!  

Now, just 7 more shifts of precepting and a whole lot of NCLEX practice/review questions!  I am almost there!  I can do this!

Last day of Nursing School

Wow.  It is really, finally over.  The past 2.5 years (longer if you count pre-req's) have gone by so fast.  It didn't feel like it at the time, but now that it is over.... phew!  What a rush!  

Today I took my last final exam.  While it was a horrible, horrible experience and I was sure that I failed it, I did not.  I have no idea how many questions got thrown out though, as there were a lot of funky ones and the original class average was apparently not so good from what I heard.  At any rate, I ended up passing it fine, and managing to still get an A in the class.  That leaves me with........... drum roll please............ a 4.0 GPA for the nursing program. I cannot believe I managed to pull that off!  

Tomorrow I am taking a much needed day of rest, and doing something fun with my daughter and hanging out with my mom.  Friday I have my final clincal day, but we are just doing Brunch for the nurses on the unit and going to lunch ourselves and doing our final evaluations.  Not real work.  :)

Unfortunately, Friday night I work, but then I am off the weekend.  It's going to be a fun one too - Aviation Day on Saturday and then our early Thanksgiving dinner on Sunday with the whole Famdamily over at Eva and Lou's.  

Monday night I start 3 crazy weeks of Preceptorship AND working.  I'm going to be so confused I might not know what hospital to show up at or which badge and uniform I need to be wearing, LOL.  thank goodness it is only for 3 weeks!  I have some long stretches of working/preceptorship with no days off in between.  Should be interesting!  

I just want to say a special thanks again to....

My wonderful family for putting up with me through all of this, stepping up to take care of things when I couldn't because I was working or studying (or both), or too tired from having been up for over 24 hours, and sometimes close to 36 hours.  And for helping fund my education, since I work for peanuts.  :)

Thank you to all the friends I have made for helping support me through this, studying with me, commiserating with me and just being there to understand what Nursing School is like.  I will never forget our friendship and I hope we keep in touch for many years to come.

It Feels too Surreal & Jetpens.com

OK, So, this past Friday was my last REAL day of Clinicals.  All we have left is the brunch for the nurses on the unit we were on and our final evaluations this coming Friday.  Before that, I have 2 final exams - Mental Health and Adult 2.  I start preceptorship (GASP) a week from tomorrow!  I am a little nervous about that, but not overly so.  The only part I am really concerned about is trying to work and do preceptorship at the same time, but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do!  I am really still more worried about passing the NCLEX than anything else.  

I just really cannot believe that it is almost over.  The past 3 years have been a long road, yet it has flewn by at the same time.  I am starting to feel like I'll be a real nurse soon.  I can't wait!  I've been saying all along I can't wait until it's over.  Now it's almost here and I am so excited!  

The weather here has been WONDERFUL the past few days also.  Living in Florida, we have 2 "seasons" - January, and Summer.  Last year we had a nice winter with more cold snaps (and COLDER snaps) than usual.  I was hoping this year would be the same, and the prediction is that it will be.  It is early November now and already we have a cold spell - down in the 40's at night and high's in the low-mid 70's.  It is currently 63 at 8:30 pm, and is supposed to be in the 40's again tonight.  That awesome weather also excites me.  :)

On another (also exciting) note, I finally broke down and placed an order from Jetpens.com.   I have a total love affair with both the Uniball Jetstream series and Multi-pens, so the fact that a Multi Uniball jetstream existed has been nagging at me ever since I discovered it.  I just absolutely had to have one.  Hey, at least I didn't order all 25 pages of my Jetpens wish list, LOL. I hope they really do ship as fast as I have heard, because I cannot wait to try out a new pen!

New Blog and School

So, we used to run our own server.  My blog was housed on that.  We no longer do that anymore, so, alas, I am starting over with a new blog.  I am sure that my old blog posts still exist, somewhere.  At least I hope they do.  Will have to try to remember to question Hubby about that one.  

So anyway.... After 2.5 VERY long years, I am finally almost done with school.  One final exam down, 2 to go for next week.  I have 3 more days of clinical left.  Then all that is left is Preceptorship.  In just over 1 month I will be graduating!  It is surreal at this point.  I can't believe it is almost over.  I am very, very excited, and a little sad at the same time.  I am so used to going to class, working, doing client care paperwork, care plans and care maps, studying for tests..... I will miss seeing friends I have made every week.  

There are friends I have made in this program that I will never forget.  We will always be friends, no matter where we go or what we end up doing with our nursing careers.  We will always remember the things we went through in this program.  The good times and bad, the easy times and tough, the happy times and sad.  There are things we went through together as nursing students that other friends in other careers just don't understand.  Likewise, I'm sure they all went through things I don't understand.  

I am grateful to all the new friends I made in this program.  I know we could not have made it through this all without each other.  

I am grateful to my friends I had before this program for sticking by me even though they have barely seen me for 2+ years.  

I am grateful to my Hubby for picking up our daughter when I couldn't stay awake anymore, cooking me dinner when I hadn't eaten all day, listening to me rant and rave about a mean nurse I worked with at clinicals or a crappy exam I took at school, doing laundry when I forgot my clothes needed to be washed the next day, and putting up with me all the times I cried and said I couldn't do it - and for telling me that Yes, I could do it!  

I am grateful to my mom for being there through it all - every rant and rave, every tear, every paper I needed proofread, every question I had.  I am grateful to her for picking my daughter up at least once a week, and this last semester often twice a week, and for keeping her over the weekends when I had to work and/or study.  I am also grateful for our weekly lunches, since there were periods where Thursday afternoons were all I looked forward to when everything else felt like it was falling apart.

I am grateful to my dad for helping me pay for school, or I wouldn't be here at all.  

I am grateful to the nurses I work with as a tech/CNA for listening to me when I needed to talk, caring about how my school was going, helping me learn how to do new things, LETTING me do new things, making me think for myself, and putting up with my incessant studying in the middle of the night.