Well it was a long road, but I was so glad to see school end. Then as the date I had signed up to take my NCLEX exam got closer, I got more and more nervous! I considered changing the date to give myself more time to study, but figured a couple more weeks probably wouldn't help me anyway. If I didn't know it by know I wasn't going to I thought.
I am glad I didn't change it. I got to the point where I really just wanted it behind me. I didn't want to study anymore, and I just wanted to take it and pass so I could apple for nursing jobs.
I studied all day the two days before the test, and then got a good nights sleep. I scheduled my test for the afternoon, since I am not a morning person and the test center was an hour away. I slept in and left 2.5 hours before my appointment. I got stuck in a traffic jam on the way from an accident, had to get off the interstate and go another way. It took forever and I was glad I'd given myself so much extra time. I got there a half hour before my appointment. The closer I got to the test center the more nervous and shaky I got! By the time I went upstairs, still 30 min early, I could barely focus through my fear of failing and having to explain to the few friends and family who knew I was testing that while I had graduated with a 4.0 I was too dumb to pass the NCLEX.
I checked in and was taken into the testing room. You are not allowed to take ANYTHING in there, not a chapstick, not an inhaler, not even your watch! I sat there and went through the little tutorial and started my test, almost terrified to click that start button. But I did. I started doing the questions, trying to use the knowledge and skills I had to get the answer, as I really didn't KNOw any of them for sure.
I had about 25 select all that apply questions, which was way more than they had prepared us for in school, and I suck at those anyway. I got a ton of med questions, but mostly meeds I had never heard of and didn't even know what they were for. Weird mess, not the more common ones. I got questions about illnesses we'd never covered in school. I didn't feel confident in a single answer I chose. Wy couldn't I have gotten a bunch of math questions I wondered? I Am good at math!
I about burst into tears when I got my 20th SATA question, but I managed to stave it off. I did however mentally give up. I stopped trying to think through the questions and just started reading them once, picking the first answer I thought was right and moving on. I thought I was going to fail anyway.
When I got to 75 questions I was afraid to click next. I was afraid it would shut off and then I would never have a chance to get questions I knew the answers to! I couldn't stare at that question forever though, and when I clicked next it went to a plain blue screen, much like the blue screen of death when your computer fries. I sort of felt like it was that blue screen of death, because I thought there was no way I passed that. I went to the car and called my mom in tears. She assured me she thought I had done fine. If only I had had had same faith!
I went home and tried the "person vie trick". It gave me the good popup, which I can tell you was my only hope and consolation for the longest 48 hours that followed until I was able to pay $8 to get my quick results on Saturday afternoon. By Monday my license number showed up on the board of nursing!
That was definitely the hardest, most stressful test I have ever taken, and I am glad I should never have to do it again! On the following Tuesday morning my director called me at work and told me there was an internship spot in OB and I needed to find out from the recruiter what I had to do to apply for it. I called her and they allowed me to apply to the internship late since I am already an employee. I tested the day after the application deadline, so I thought I was going to have to wait a whole other month to apply. I am glad I didn't.
It all went so quickly and smoothly. I applied on Tuesday, interviewed with the recruiter on Wednesday, the unit director of OB on Friday and got my job offer on Monday! I was never really expecting to get into OB as a new grad, but I am SOOOO happy I did! I want to do labor and delivery, and while this is in antepartum/postpartum, it is totally a step in the right direction! So much c,Oder than I thought I would get as a new grad!
I get to start February 15th and I am so very excited! I cannot wait for that date to come! I am a real nurse now, and will get to be working as one very soon!
